You Are Here( no really its where I am, not you)

I am here.

I know its been awhile since I have updated this blog. A lot has been happening since July but the basic summary is...

I finally moved out of my ex's house. That happened at the end of October, at the end of the CTRF(Connecticut Renaissance Faire) which was my deadline. *sigh of relief*

Did I find a job? No. Did I find an apartment? No. So why the sigh? Because I did what I said I would do and I am finally out of his hair. Are things any better? No, just different and now he can get on with his life. His life without me.

So the majority of my life and things are in storage and I am in my mother's basement with the stuff I need to function. My mother jokingly called it my apartment. I am not thrilled with that statement, but for now its true until I can fix things.

I am looking for employment here. No lock but no surprise due to the state of the economy. But each day I get up and check my emails to see if I have any responses to my queries. I check the job postings, my websites, my Etsy, my blogs. I am putting one foot in front of the other and taking my baby steps. Maybe eventually if I turn around I will see I made it to Athens...

I will put here that I did open up an Etsy page:

www.Om3studio.Etsy.com

So if anyone actually reads this blog and want to check that out, well, there it is.

The summer wasn't totally a depressing state. I was able to connect with a lot of people at faire whom I had made friends with in the past. The difference this time was I was doing it as my own entity and not part of a couple. It was a nice change.

My friend Ana allowed me to belly dance at her 5pm show at the NYRF and for that I was very fortunate. She is a great person and I am so thankful that she allowed me to do that. I gave me a bit of myself back. I found myself dancing a lot this summer and into the fall faire season. I hope I can keep that up as I think I would like that as part of my life and my "new" identity.

So I am in New England. At least I will be here for the holidays, something I have missed over the past few years. Last year we didn't even decorate for the winter holidays, which depressed me severely. This year that won't happen.

I guess I was supposed to end up in the basement. I guess I needed to reconnect with my roots. I had told someone that I am in the same place I was when I was 17, looking to start my life back then. I have returned and I am looking to start my life over.

I hope this time when I walk down the road, that I don't stumble and fall quite so many times.

Songs and my lack of life

All I can think of is song titles right now...Upsidedown...Crazy...Road to Nowhere...I am sure that there are others to describe what I am going through and how I have been feeling over the past month.

First, I was supposed to have moved out of this house that I have been living in for 8 years with the man I have had a relationship with for 15 years or so...

My deadline was June 3oth. I was convinced I would be able to be out before then. I was shooting for May 30th. I had talked to a few people, arrangements were being made. I went to see the places to get an idea of the places I could move.

One place I thought I could move, the landlady decided she didn't want to rent it any longer. The second place is not in the process of being sold..and I had somethings I left there to store..so now I have to frantically figure out how to get those things out of there. The third place will not work do to lack of space and other financial considerations.

The third place I had been set to move to on July 1st. I had rented a u-haul, arranged with people who would drive it for me. I changed mailing address items to this new place, and contacted various governmental people to have papers sent there. I went to the house to clean an area so that in the 3 days when the u-haul was to arrive that there would be space to unload my things to...until I could move them to their designated holding areas.

It didn't work out. There was no space, nor would there ever be enough space for my things. There was the decision of where large powertool type things were to go..and the total rearranging of this persons life would have had to have been done...because of me. We didn't know each other well and I don't think that much was thought through and so the plan to move was made null and void.

I had to go back to the house I was living in with my tail between my legs and "failure" stamped on my forehead.

And this was the week after I turned 40.

I will always remember this birthday year. The year everything fell through. There was no party to mark this major life passage, just me packing boxes and worrying that I wouldn't have enough tape.

I have just learned that the person who was going to help move me just got into a car accident. If I lived in any other century they would have burned me as a jinx or a witch. Everyone I have come in contact with who has offered to help me, something bad has happened to and I can only feel that it is due to the association with me.

So there I am...in a pity puddle.

Now I am trying to figure out how to get out again, with nowhere to go. I am looking into storage for my things. If my things can be safe, well then it really won't matter what happens to me....

So off I go in another direction, hoping that this time I can find something that will work and I can move forward in my life...and get back to my artwork that has been put on hold for 6 months now.

Back from Fairie Festival

This is a photo of me as "Forest Guardian"

taken in front of my booth at the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm.

Today it is raining and I have been back from Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm in Glen Rock, PA for 3 days now. I sort of miss it.

For 3 days before the event I was very stressed out about all the things I needed to do, the packing of costumes, sleeping, the booth items(tent and tables and displays) and camping items. The packing of stock, my cards, magnets and woodburned pieces. The last minute woodburning of items and the large project of repackaging all of my cards, which was not the smartest thing to do before a large event, added to the stress. Even though I did get sleep, when I woke up I wasn't rested.

My friend and I left for the festival on Thursday. He drove as I do not. He was working for my friends at Reyen Design Studios, who were also to be my neighbors at the faire, so it was a pseudocarpool thing. I felt bad because we were both strapped for cash and I couldn't really contribute to the gas. So he should be sainted for driving me and my stuff there and back and for helping with the set up and break down of the booth. It took us 4 hours to get there.

The weather forecast had called for rain all three days of the event. We were very fortunate that the only rain we saw was a little drizzle and hour before we arrived and about 15 minutes worth on the second day of the event.

I love the Fairie Festival. The people who own the land and the people who run the event are wonderful people. The people who attend the event are pleasant, intelligent and a joy to see. Many of them dress up in costumes to add to the flavor of the event.

I was also happy to be in the same spot that I was last year. I knew my neighbors, I am just up the hill from one of the stages where they have live music. I was able to hear a band that I heard last year Telesma. I purchased a CD from them last year and listened to it all year, so it was great to hear them live again.

I hope I am able to work/attend the event next year, but my life is very much in the air right now that I don't know what I am doing from day to day.

If you would like to learn more about the Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farm you can take a look:

http://www.fairiefestival.net/

Priorities

Running around like a chicken with my head cut off...That was me last week.



I am currently juggling several things that all need my equal attention and I am trying to get ready for The Fairie Festival in PA that is in less than a week.



My friend Joe has approached me to start painting fairies for his pewter lines. This is a great opportunity for me, though it is tedious and time consuming. It would mean a tiny bit of money in my pocket, more than I have now. If it works out...



I try not to get my hopes up too much about projects any more as they all tend to pan out(this phrase always intigues me...it must be a 'goldrush" term). Children book illustrations, magazine illustrations, stationary illustrations, pipe designs, tattoo designs, pewter figure designs, leather designs, gift shops in various states...I am sure there are more things that were job opportunities that people have approached me on that fell through, but at the moment I can't think of them all.



So, as I was saying...I started painting these fairies, because he was coming up to visit and I wanted to have a group done for him #1 so he could take them with him, #2 we would save on shipping charges and #3 I could get some pay.



But....



I also am working on Fairy Hair Falls for Reyen Design Studios. This work doesn't come in that often, so when it does I try to grab the opportunity when I can. David and Dorita are working next door to me at the Fairie Festival, so their deadline for this project is the same deadline I have set for my artwork...in less than a week.



So I am working on that, and the fairies.



And...



I am trying to replenish my stock that was depleted at the Sci-Fi Convention. That is very time consuming. Drawing the design takes a while in itself, but then I have to woodburn over the pencil. And, at this festival I am also allowed to sell my art cards...another thing that has been depleted and I haven't been able to get my stock levels up due to the fact that ink is so expensive for my printer. Also getting to a shop requires a trip of 45 minutes one way and I can't get there when I need to because I rely on someone else to drive me. My driver has been busy with things of his own so I can't ask him to take me anywhere, so I have been making due with what I don't have.



But I was gifted with some ink and I can print up another run of cards. I have to go through my stock and see what I really need, as I still have limited quantities of ink and the printer sucks down ink like a...you fill in the blanks with a phrase of your choice.



And I have to pack. I still have to move. I am in Limbo right now because of this show that I invested A LOT of money into, so I can't move until its over. But I still have to pack.



So these were the things that I was juggling last week.



Thus "headless chicken".



This week, the fairies are almost done. Joe didn't take them with him, but "Okayed" them so I am expecting a shipment of more. I didn't get paid yet, as the fairies are still in the house. He is expected to take them away at the end of May.



Fairy Hair Falls, I am working on a few each day, as with the woodburning. The Art cards have changed their presentation, so this has created a new set of issues. I recently ordered new bags for the cards throwing a "spanner in the works"(I love that phrase). Repackaging them isn't going to be a problem, just time consuming. The problem is in the display. I need to obtain a new box and dividers. I could probably find these at the craft store, but my driver has a life and is very busy so I don't expect to go to "civilization" before the fest.

I am back to making roses out of dung.

Yesterday I packed 9 boxes. So much for the boxes can wait...

But today is a new day...

With a whole new set of priorities....

Days like these

It has been a rough few days. I have been trying not to think and just do. Trying to distract myself from the creeping depression that lurks in every shadow, seen and unseen.

It creeps in when I think that I may not be able to get to a show I have been expecting to work. A show that I was guaranteed to make a little bit of pay. All due to the fact that the Universe decided to kick the truck in the head gasket.

So I may just be screwed blue but not quite tattooed.

It just figures.

So what am I doing about it? Not a hell of a lot I can do. Yet again I am at the mercy of the "Universal HAHA" which says "How you like them apples?" I would rather not have apples, thank you. Perhaps a nice pomegranate or some sweet, red raspberries instead?

So I keep woodburning my little boxes. I am going to need them in case a miracle drops from the sky and I am able to get to and work I-Con, because god only knows if I am going to be working Fairie Festival the way my life has been dealing me cards. And this is supposed to be a "beneficial year"...snicker.

And even though I was in a great big pity puddle, I was able to get a few pieces of my artwork out of the old "pentium 2/ windows 98-running computer" and transfer them to the "dad computer" and then burn some of the files to disk. I took one of my older, more favorite pieces of art work and "made it new".

You can now see it on a few items on my Cafe Press page and my Zazzle page. The image that I used can be seen at the top of this posting. I put it on a few shirts and some mugs, at present. I hope to get it on a few more pieces, but "dial up won't let me".

I think that will be my battle cry for a bit. "Honey, why didn't you empty the cat box?" "Why, dear, dial up won't let me." "Why didn't you wash these dishes?" "Dial-up wouldn't let me."

So maybe I will be able to do what I need to do today and successfully stave of the looming, growing depression, "dial up willing".

This week From the Studio

These two pictures are 2 of the several boxes that I completed this week. The one on the bottom is my "current" Frog Prince-3/08. The one on the top is my "current" Jasmine Fairy 3/08.

Both of these faeries tend to sell out quickly, so I am constantly having to make new ones. It can be a pain, since they are all done freehand, no carbon transfers or templates. But it is good at the same time, because I get to change the designs and positioning or the figures, but at the same timeit can be bad, because if I really like the faces, they never come out the same way twice. Artist's, we are never happy...even when we are.

I am getting ready for I-Con, the sci-fi event at Stoneybrook University on Stoneybrook, Long Island.

I have been working for my friend at Black Dragon Pewter in the dealers' room at the event for many years now and in addition to helping him sell his pewter, Raven allows me to put my artwork out for sale. So the two boxes will probably be going with me to I-Con, unless someone writes me and decides they want to purchase them before I leave next week.

I-Con will be happening on April 4th-6th. For more information you can take a look at their website by visiting:

http://www.iconsf.org/

I also wanted to thank whomever purchased one of my mermaid mugs from my Zazzle page. It made me do the happy dance and lifted my moral. One thousand blessings upon your head.

If anyone is interested in taking a look at what I am talking about, you can click the zazzle link in the margin of my page, or go to the bottom of the page and click on the flash window, it should take you there.

Or you can click right here:

www.zazzle.com/om3studio*

Don't forget to check out my cafepress page too:

www.cafepress.com/om3studiocafe

Paperwork that never goes away...

I have been back from my really enjoyable mental health retreats. I really didn't want to leave the places I had been staying but unfortunately I had NY State Sales taxes to file and it is a good thing that I did come back when I did because I had another governmental document debacle that I had to deal with.

The never ending, never rectified passport "prove who you are" supplementary worksheet. See I had thought that this was all done when I had received a phone call from my roommate who had informed me that what "felt like my passport" had come in. Though I was raised to never count my chickens before they hatch, I foolishly believed that my passport was there, waiting for me.

Boy, was that foolish. After Vylitte dropped me off and I had done some unpacking, I sat down for my "reward". I slowly opened the envelope and found....

That is wasn't my passport but more papers that I had to fill out to prove I was me. Not only did I have to list every place I lived, every job I had ever held and all of the schools I had ever attended and dates...I had to provide a minimum of 5 pieces of id that was ten years or older.

SI had to call the mother I didn't have...She couldn't believe it, what I was going through, not the fact that I had called her back.

Then the document hunt began. She went through all of my stuff at home in Massachusetts, while I went through all of the boxes of things that I hadn't yet started to pack up toward moving. It has taken me about a week, but I finally was able to get dates, places and all the pertinents, along with photocopies of documents collected together. All of the stuff was shipped off to Passportlandia priority mail on Monday. I hope I didn't piss anyone off too bad and that I actually get my passport. It would be nice since I filed it in January and have been playing document pingpong ever since.

The rest of the week was bad. No progress in finding work, funding or emotional relief. I signed up with an "online money making thing" which may or may not be a scam. I am trying to figure it out and trying to get it to work for me, but it is slow going. Thing is things that work for most people don't seem to work for me, ask anyone who has known me for awhile...its just the way of things.

But each day I sign on to the 2 sites I have to work with and do my "little work". I check my survey sites, and my artwork sites to see if anything is bearing fruit. I answer emails, check classified ads, check the HUD site, work on my blogs.

I have been trying to post more of my art and events on my blogs, self promotion was one of the reasons I started these things, in addition to the lovely place to vent and give people a peek into my world and my "head".

So the next post will most likely show you...what I have been up to in the studio.

Stay tuned...