Pink Sky

Some days are better than other days.



Yesterday was an example of a bad day for me. I couldn't stop shaking. For no reason whatsoever.



Trying to figure out where I am going to go and the fact I am going to have to start a new life probably got the better of me on a subconscious level.



Two days ago I was better. I felt like I was moving forward. Even though I was having an issue with internet speed( I have dial up), I was able to get information on Low-Income Housing Lotteries in NYC.



This made me feel better. Though at the present I have no income, so low income is still too much of a requirement for me, I wrote my requests for applications and sent them off into the world.

A few friends and my father have been giving me ideas and options. So far its FL or NY. The choices that I weigh are:
1.) my health. I don't do well in the heat.
2.)culture. The south is a different cultural group than the North East Coast and I am a New England girl born and bred.
3.)Family. I was really touched by my father and the offer he made and my family up here I have very little contact with...except for my 88 year old grandmother-whom I love to bits.
4.)job opportunities. That is difficult since the economy sucks so bad-believe what you want if you don't think so.
5.) Pet. Over the past 17 years I have had a cat and there were moments when I felt she was the only one who cared. She died, but now I have a new cat...Mystra. Even if I have to leave her with her brother Raja because I don't want them separated, I would need to have a cat in my life. My cat, in the past, kept me sane...
6.) Friends. I lost a lot of them over the years and I have been slowly trying to build up my "support network"- I would hate to lose them.
7.) Transportation. I don't drive, don't own a car, can't afford one...so car pooling or mass transit are things I need.
8.) and as George Carlin used to say "A place for my stuff". I have a lot of things I collected over the years, mostly my working referrance library and media-and art supplies. I have started throwing things out, but no amount of purging is going to get me to a state where I can live in a tiny, tiny place.
9.) Access to internet. I have been trying to work on my artwork & posting it on the web, so this is a "need".



And now I am praying to multiple deities and saints to help me get what I need, because I am so confused right now I can't ask for what I want.



Yesterday I posted some things on ebay. Today I was able to post a few pieces of my art on products on my Cafe press and zazzle pages. Those things made me feel like I was taking a few positive steps.



And though the sky was red this morning (the whole "red sky in morning...sailor take warning" saying) I have hopes for the day.



Maybe more opportunities will open up for me and point in the direction of possible choices I have for moving and career and a better life.



I'll keep my eyes open today, under the pink sky.

Just Today

Today I was finally able to get this to work.

Today I woke up with a migraine for the third day in a row. So most of my day will be spent trying to function and get all those things done that I had planned to do as I was trying to fall asleep last night and maybe accomplishing 3 of them.

Three days ago I ended a 17 year journey.

Three days ago I had to start a new cycle while untangling myself from a weaving of two people's lives.

Three days ago...I was at a loss.

Today I have to continue trying to start moving forward. Even with the migraine.

This entails packing, contacting friends and trying to find out my options, and trying not to break down and cry and make my migraine worse.

I can only pack so much because this little raven has nowhere to fly and living in a house full of boxes that I will be leaving and the person who I am leaving will be staying is not only inconsiderate to them, but downright even more depressing than it already is.

So I decided to start this blog, to get things out of my head, to chronicle this and, hopefully, better things to come.